How I Know

I don’t particularly love PDA.  However, I don’t publicly advertise this blog.  If you are one of the few reading this blog, it’s because you want to.  And If you don’t want to read this mushy post, then you have my permission to skip it.  Bye.

Okay, you lucky people, you get to read what I love about Aaron Robert Crowder.  There are a million things I love about him, so this is the condensed version.

I love his brilliant mind.  To this day, it still blows my mind that he taught himself computer programming.  He is incredibly logical.  He is a problem solver.  Things don’t always work the first way he tries it.  And when that happens, he comes at it with new energy and new ideas.  Not only does he apply this to writing code, he applies it to life.

I love how loyal he is to his personality.  What you see is what you get.  Aaron has the inability to be fake.  He is the same person no matter who he is around.  He won’t change who he is.  Sometimes he is crass, but he doesn’t try to “hide” it from “sensitive” people.  Aaron is Aaron.  He doesn’t care what people think about him.  He is brave.  I think a lot of us don’t have the courage to be 100% ourselves no matter who we are around.  We’re afraid of being judged.  Aaron is confident.

I love how well balanced he is.  He knows when to be funny, and he knows when to be serious.  He knows how to be funny without being stuffy, but he is true to his beliefs.  His level of fun draws people to him.  He is a ham, but far from an attention whore.  He is jovial.  (And he knows just the right amount of swear words to say in front of the Bishop so he never gets “big” callings. ^_^ )

I love his willingness.  Aaron will not say no to people.  He would help his worst enemy on their moving day.  He is always looking for neighbor kids to pay to do chores, so they have extra money.  He wants to be there for everyone.  He volunteers for every church service project.  Aaron will drop whatever he is doing to serve.

He is an amazing husband.  When wives say that, people are just like “cool.  whatever.  they are happy together.”  But he truly is unlike any other man I know.

He gives me the freedom to be me.  He knows I am independent, and he doesn’t smother me.  He knows I enjoy alone time, and he lets me have it.  He loves watching me succeed.  He knows me better than I know me.  He could envision me blogging, and pushed me into it.  I never wanted to.  It is now my passion.  He knew I would love it.  He helped me grow.  I can’t thank him enough.

Aaron understands depression.  He has never experienced it, but he is the most compassionate person.  He loves purely.  When I am in an overwhelming pit of despair, and close myself off from the world (including him), he doesn’t get upset.  He is patient.  He is loving.  And his arms stay open.  He understands what is happening, and he doesn’t let it pull him down.  He gives me personalized care without making me feel guilty for something I can’t control.  He does it because he loves me.  Episodes of depression affect who I am as a person, but he never allows it to affect our marriage or wear him out.  Ever.  His strength is a miraculous gift.

Aaron is deeply spiritual.  His knowledge of the scriptures runs far.  He always teaches me new things.  He is a natural spiritual leader.  He always bears his testimony through words and actions.  He has no fear.  I love his dedication to his beliefs.  He has never abandoned them.  I wish I could say the same about myself.  But he loves me regardless.

I love Aaron because he understands my past.  He lets me talk about it when I need to.  He lets me be extremely open about the things I have gone through.  He lets me tell him every graphic detail of sins I have been involved with.  He doesn’t let it bother him.  He has never judged me.  He listens to me, so he can understand what happened to me.  He recognizes that I went through hell.  He knows that I am a daughter of God and makes sure I know that, and that I have respect as such.  He wants to know everything that happened to me so he can make up for the mistakes of others.  It amazes me that my past doesn’t anger him, but strengthens his love for me.

Aaron was under my nose for so long, and (according to him) I never shared my toast.  (I had a toaster in my locker in high school.)  My heart breaks when I hear of what he went through growing up.  I want to cry when I hear about him not having friends, being made fun of, getting told “no” for dates, and feeling alone.  I wish I could go back and tell teenage-Kenz to talk to Alex’s best friend, Aaron.  But Aaron is not bitter of his past.  He is stronger.  And because of his past, he is friends with the loners, the down-trodden, the hurting, and the suffering.  I love his Christ-like image.  I look up to him.

I often feel inadequate for him.  But I know I am blessed to share every day (and Eternity) with him.  And that’s fun.  We know how to party.  I love you Mr. Crowder.  Thanks for stealing me from all those dumb chodes.

Love, Goose.


4 thoughts on “How I Know”

  1. You have been given an amazing gift to be able to put into words the things that most of will never be able to do. Don’t ever stop writing. I love you.
    Your ever adoring mother 🙂

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