We have been tossing around the idea of gym memberships for awhile now. Last night we did it. We joined 24 Hour Fitness. Aaron and I are both aware that we need to lose weight and by healthy.
PCOS is an issue for me. I don’t lose weight as fast as other people because of it. Because of PCOS my body has a natural insulin resistance, and it fights everything. It’s quite the pain. It’s really discouraging. But I know I need to put more focus into my health. Not for vanity reasons. For safety reasons. It really gets me down sometimes.
One of the worst side effects of PCOS is depression. PCOS causes an imbalance in your entire body. All your chemicals are out of whack. Meaning, depression is a natural companion to PCOS. After dealing with depression for years, I have chosen to cope without medication. I don’t need your opinion on why you think that is a stupid choice. It is my choice. I have medicated before, and at this time in my life, I don’t want to. But I cope just fine. I’m aware of my depression, and I do my best to not take it out on other people. But one of the biggest temptations of depression is hatred of the gym. I do NOT want to work out. Even though I KNOW it will make me feel better. The endorphins. I KNOW IT. I know that it will cause a physical chemical to help me feel happy. So where do I get the motivation to go to the gym? I’m not lazy. I don’t just sit at home at watch TV. I have a testimony of working out, I am just not converted.
Hopefully my attitude will change. Especially with the motivation of my card being charge every month, and encouragement from Aaron.
I’ve decided to be completely transparent with my fitness goals, in hopes that I will have something to be accountable to (invisible readers.)
Here’s to hoping my attitude changes. Ready, set, go Kenz.