Dear Baby Crowder,
It’s weird to talk to you. I still don’t think it has set in. I have no idea if you are a boy or girl. I know YOU know. And you’re probably trolling me. You’re giving me a run for my money. It seems like I’m constantly worried about if you’re a boy or girl. I haven’t started making your room yet. I feel like a bad mom. I feel really behind schedule. You will be here in 6 months. But, I know you could care less about what your room looks like, right? You’re so chill. As long as you have food and a mum and pop to love you, you’re good, right? That still doesn’t make me feel better that we haven’t even bought 1 baby item yet. We’ll get there.
Let’s talk about some other things, Baby C. What if you are unfortunate looking? It’s not your fault. It will bee 100% mine and dad’s fault. That is a lot of responsibility! I mean, how could you NOT be a stunner?! But still… I get worried. If you’re a girl, I’ll probably give you PCOS. And I’ll feel really really bad about it. But don’t worry. I’ll teach you to manage it, and you’ll have a good head start. If you are a boy, dad might give you DM2. But probably not. We don’t think he’s carrying that gene. But if he does, Uncle Josh can teach you how to take on the world. Lots of people are SO excited for you. Grandpa Crowder calls you Funyun. Which is FUNny… because I craved Funyuns for the first 5 weeks, and now I can’t touch them with a 10 foot pole. You make me throw up. A LOT. And I usually hate it. I threw up so hard I peed my pants yesterday. So geez… thanks a lot. But it’s okay. You’re totally worth it.
Thanks for giving me the hardest 3 months of my life. I love you, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Keep growing hard. They say you grew fingerprints this week. That’s awesome. Don’t commit any crimes, ya hear?!