Sometimes, The Answer is “No.”

Dear Evelyn,

If you are anything like me, this is going to be a thing that you struggle with too.

From a really young age, I never believed that “no” was an answer.  Not in an extremely defiant way, just in a way that I believed anything could be accomplished and there was no reason to halt it.

When I was 4 years old, I ceaselessly begged your grandpa to take off my training wheels.  He kept saying no.  Him and grandma thought I wasn’t big enough to ride a two-wheeler yet.  And grandpa was busy.  He didn’t have time to take them off, and put them back on, then take them off again.  But I wouldn’t stop asking.  No wasn’t an option.  I believe in myself.  Finally, grandpa took them off, but he said, “Kenz, once these training wheels come off, they aren’t going back on.”  As soon as they were off, I took off riding, and didn’t look back.

A little bit after that, I wanted to roller blade with my big sisters.  Grandma said I wasn’t big enough yet.  So one day I put Gina’s too-big roller blades on my tiny feet and took off.  Grandma & Grandpa realized that maybe I needed a pair of my own.

At the age of 21, I said “I’m going to get my pilot’s license.”  And everyone thought I was all talk.  No one took it seriously, until the day I had my license in my hand.

By this point, I had taught myself that if I wanted to accomplish something, it was up to me, and that there could be no excuses.  And that way, “No” wasn’t an option.

Well, Evelyn, I’ve had a problem.  Being pregnant has been a pretty big struggle.  It’s a tough ride.  Some days I feel really good, but a lot of the time I can’t even move out of bed.  The hardest part though is being told “no.”  I’ve had to learn my limits.  My limits have changed since being pregnant.  And sometimes I forget that.  I want to do the same things I used to do.  But then your daddy has to tell me no.  It makes me so grumpy!  I do not enjoy it.  I’ve always believed that if I put my mind to something, I could do it.  Even though I’m a girl, I can use power tools.  I can lay flooring.  I can change light fixtures.  I’ve taught myself how to do things because I didn’t want to count on anyone else doing it.  But these pregnant months have taught me to rely on those around me.  I don’t like it!  It’s so hard.  But I know that this is a lesson I’m supposed to learn.  Maybe this is the only way that Heavenly Father could teach me about “no.”  It seems like maybe I have never really listened before.

Just remember, that most of the time, when people tell us “no,” it is because they love us.  They don’t want to see us get hurt.  It’s not a way to take away our agency.  It’s to protect us.  You are worth these hard lessons I have to learn.  And before I know it, I’ll be the one saying “no” and you’ll be the one testing my limits.  I don’t want it any other way.  I love you little bean.  See you soon Christmas Miracle 🙂

2 thoughts on “Sometimes, The Answer is “No.””

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *