Evelyn Faye’s Baby Blessing

The leading reason for this blog is to keep a journal.  I was a major journal-keeper when I was younger.  I wrote in my journal every.single.day through jr high, high school, and my early 20’s.  Since getting married, I have been awful at it.  And it really nagged at me.  Aaron taught me to love blogging.  I love that I can use this blog as a journal for our major events.  

Every girl dreams of her wedding dress from the time she’s a little girl.  From the second I knew we were expecting a little girl, I dreamed of her blessing dress.  The process of creating it was very similar.

Marlene Shepherd is a very special person to me.  She is more than just a friend and neighbor.  She loved me like one of her own children.  She is an incredibly talented and skilled seamstress.  She has made every important dress I’ve worn, including my blessing dress, all my dance dresses, my wedding dress, and my temple dress.  It was only fitting that she would make my daughter’s blessing dress.

Of course we needed to take a picture of Evelyn Faye wearing my blessing dress.

Evelyn Faye Blessing

My mom, my mother in law, me, and Evelyn all packed up and went to Marlene’s house to design and come up with a plan for this special dress.  It was the quintessential planning committee.

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

We went through boxes of patterns, and tons of pictures on Pinterest, and lots of fabric samples.  Evelyn had a good time hanging out in them.  It was so fun to have the grandmas involved.  🙂

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

This was the design we came up with for her sweet dress.   It had a peter pan collar, with a half circle skirt and lace overlay.  We decided to go with an ivory satin instead of a bright white.

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

This was the finished product!  Marlene is incredible.

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

Evelyn looked like such an angel in it.  She’s quite sassy.  Taking names, and throwing punches.

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

This was the morning while we were finishing getting ready for church.  I’ve never seen anything sweeter.

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

She had been really sick the week leading up to this, so we were really nervous how she would do.  She had been really really fussy all week long.  But she slept the whole time.

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

March 2nd was an extra special blessing day.  Evelyn got to share it with her 2nd cousin Felix.  My cousin Adam & his wife Beth got to bless Felix on the same day.  We love being in the same ward as them.

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

Every day it’s still so surreal that she is my daughter.

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

Evelyn is a complete miracle to us.  She is the most beautiful and perfect manifestation of our love and God’s love for us.

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

I would do anything to keep her safe from any unkind thing in this world.

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

This is a special rocking chair made for her by her Grandpa Burton.  He makes a rocking chair for each of his grandchildren to give them on their blessing day.  He also made one for her dolly.

Evelyn Faye's Baby Blessing

Having Evelyn has brought so much gladness into my life.  It has strengthened my relationship with my own parents.  It has strengthened my relationship with my inlaws.  It has strengthened my relationship with God.  I find that my prayers are a lot more heartfelt and earnest.  I pray for her safety and well being.  I sacrifice myself and my desires to take care of her needs.  I cling to the Savior for strength in ways I never did before.  I’m so grateful for motherhood and the ways it has changed me.

Healthy Green Dressing Recipe

Before I got pregnant it came to our attention that I had a gluten intolerance.  When I started eating gluten free, it started tremendously helping my PCOS symptoms.  Eating gluten free meant getting creative with food and coming up with new delicious things to avoid food-boredom.

I made this delicious dressing, and it was SO easy.

I put a head of cilantro in the blender, a couple cloves of garlic, a dash of salt, a jar of olive oil mayo, and about 1/4 c water.

Green Dressing Recipe

It took just a few pulses to blend it all together.

Green Dressing Recipe

It is SO yummy.  It tastes a lot like Cafe Rio’s house dressing.  A tablespoon is 50 calories, so not too bad for a creamy dressing.

Green Dressing Recipe

Two Two Two Fast!

Evelyn Faye is 2 months.  This age is so much fun.  Evelyn is absolutely enjoyable.  Her temperament is cheerful and charming.  She has captivated our hearts.  Every minute with her is most excellent.

We had to put away her newborn clothes because her tiny body outgrew them.  Many Kenz-tears were shed.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

For awhile, 3 month clothes were too big, but newborn clothes were small.  The generic 0-3 onesies fit pretty well, so I got creative with them.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

This is how we spent Valentine’s day.  Sewing, Great Mouse Detective, and sleeping.  Aaron was pretty sore from his car accident, so he rested up.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

We were sad to say goodbye to the Scion.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

This little number was on Valentine’s day.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

The puppies like Evelyn heaps more these days.

Evelyn Faye is 2 monthsAnd Buster is sweet on the Boppy.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Every once in awhile we put peanut butter on Evelyn’s tummy to facilitate the dog-Evelyn (and Heidi) relationship.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Papa Crowder calls Evelyn a clothes horse.  She definitely has an abundance of outfits.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn loves her car seat.  I tell her it’s like a Disneyland ride.  It makes me think she’ll love Disneyland in June.  Time will tell!

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

We underwent using diapers from The Honest Co. this month.  We love them!  They are eco friendly,  and extra gentle on Ev’s bum.  Did I mention they are extra absorbent and flexible?!  We haven’t had any blow outs since switching.  And they’re pretty dang adorable.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Speaking of blowouts…

It was a Sunday morning.  Seconds after taking this picture, Evelyn was still sitting there, propped up on Aaron.  When she had the most massive blowout.  There was poop all over Aaron, and all over our bed.  Poop everywhere.  It got in her hair.  I don’t know how.  But it was a hot mess.  Needless to say, we did not make it to church this day.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn got to meet cousin Felix who came six weeks early, and was born 4 days after her.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

We went to Aunt Kami’s PTA school so they could practice pediatric physical therapy.  It was really neat to watch the reflexes and exercises they do with a 2 month old.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

One of our biggest discoveries is how much Evelyn loves taking baths and showers with us.  It must be a combination of the skin to skin and the warm water.  In the bath, we use Lush all natural bath bombs.  The aroma always calms Evelyn down and sends her into a nice little slumber.  It’s adorable.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn is the most beautiful sleeper.  I could watch her sleep for hours.  I also think she looks the most like me when she’s asleep.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn and Aaron are a napping team unlike anything else.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

The most unusual things calm Evelyn down when she is fussy.

Nyan Cat will stop her crying instantly.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

She also loves to “swim.”

Evelyn loves her baby gym.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

She has an incredibly strong neck and back.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

It is boggling how rapidly she is growing.  It’s like she changes right before my eyes.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

 

When she is awake, she doesn’t like to hold still.  Aaron nicknamed her Wiggly Jo.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

I love taking her on adventures with me during the day.  Of course, we frequent our favorite store, where she’s always a crowd favorite.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

And sometimes the middle of the night warrants a selfie.

Evelyn Faye is 2 months

I love every minute with Evelyn.  She is a miracle in our lives, and quite the dish!

Mortality

Sick Baby

 

I have heard mamas say watching your child be sick or struggle is one of the most painful things to go through.  I always thought “Yeah, that would be hard.”  I had no idea HOW hard until I experienced it for myself.

I had my first life experience watching my child, of my own flesh and blood, get sick, and not be able to fix it.

I’m a problem solver.  When things are broken, I fix them.  When there’s a problem, I find a solution.  When others are having a hard time, I want to fix it for them.

I had to watch Evelyn suffer.  She was miserable without understanding.  She would look at me helplessly with her sick eyes, begging for me to fix it.  And I couldn’t.  I had to listen to her cough til she would throw up.  My heart would break.  So many times I wished that I could be the one sick if she could be healthy.  I would rather carry the burden for her.

Even asleep, she looked miserable.  This lasted for two weeks.

Sick Baby

 

I’ve found that often the hardest experiences I’ve gone through, are the most spiritual, and the times I’m the most teachable.

So badly I wanted to teach Evelyn about my favorite scripture, D&C 122:7-9.

7 And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good.

8 The Son of Man hath descended below them all. Art thou greater than he?

9 Therefore, hold on thy way, and the priesthood shall remain with thee; for their bounds are set, they cannot pass. Thy days are known, and thy years shall not be numbered less; therefore, fear not what man can do, for God shall be with you forever and ever.

When Joseph Smith was in the middle of what seemed to be the most miserable experience of his life, he asked for it to be taken away.  Heavenly Father didn’t.  I love the whole passage where he explains that all experiences shall be for our good.

But my favorite line is “hold on thy way.”  This phrase got me through the toughest times in my life.  It’s the most tender way of saying endure to the end.

God didn’t take away the pain of the atonement for the Savior.  And as a parent, I can’t imagine how painful it was to watch.  I watched Evelyn have a cold, and that just about did me in.  To watch your Son take on the pains of entire mankind would be excruciating.

It may sound silly, but I feel closer to my Heavenly Father after this experience.  And I know He will always give us strength to get through our mortal trials.  That’s why we are here.  He loves us, and it IS hard for Him to watch us go through hard things.  But that doesn’t take His love away from us.  It increases.

So Evelyn, this is the first of many trials in your life.  Hold on thy way!

Happy Birthday Aaron!

Happy birthday to the most bestest creation: Aaron!

I had fun celebrating your birthday over the weekend.

We had a surprise birthday breakfast at Ruth’s Diner up Emigration Canyon.

Happy Birthday Aaron

 

Happy Birthday Aaron

 

Later that night my parents took us to Rickenbacker’s Steak House.  It is a fun restaurant at the Ogden Hinckley Airport.  I pretty much got no food into my mouth because I was too busy watching the airplanes.

Happy Birthday Aaron

 

Happy Birthday Aaron

 

Happy Birthday Aaron

 

Happy Birthday Aaron

Aaron, I love you more than words could ever say.  Sometimes I wake up to the sheer disbelief that I have such a wonderful husband like you.   You are the greatest husband and father.  You make every day better.  I love your sense of humor.  I’m so happy I married someone who I can laugh with every day.  Every day I fall more in love with you.  Thank you for being who you are.  You’re not just my husband, you’re also my best friend. Happy birthday dear.

1810 <3

Happy Birthday Aaron

 

My oh my, ONE MONTH flew by!

It’s unbelievable how quickly the first month of Evelyn Faye’s life has passed.  I wanted to do a photo dump and talk a little bit about our experiences the first month as first time parents.

Sleeping.

Evelyn Faye

Evelyn, you are an AMAZING sleeper.  You take after your mum.  However, you are particular about how you fall asleep at night.  We have a heating pad under a receiving blanket in the bassinet, and we warm it up before we put you in.  We turn it off after we lay you down, so you don’t cook 🙂  We also have a sound system set up right under your bassinet.  We play “Sounds of the Womb” which is basically white noise with a heart beat.  As long as we stick to your routine: Change you, bed time lotion, swaddle, feed you, heat/sound, you sleep GREAT.  Most nights you sleep in 4 hour blocks, and sometimes you even sleep 6!

Evelyn Faye

How we spend our days.

Evelyn Faye

I love spending every day with you Evelyn Faye.  We don’t leave the house very often, but when we do, it’s a real treat.  I spend most of my time nursing or pumping, which leaves the rest of the time for cuddles.  You take pretty good naps, which is when I do house chores and blogging.  Your company is delightful.

Evelyn Faye

Evelyn Faye (7)

Music.

Evelyn Faye (2)

You LOVE music.  I sing you camp songs every day, and you love it.  You love the soft spiritual ones, and you love the fun and peppy ones.  The sound of the guitar is mystical to you.  Your eyes get so wide.  You have a musical seahorse stuffed animal that makes water sounds with lullabies.  We play it every time we change you on the changing table.  It is so calming to you.  You love when daddy plays dubstep while coding.  Mommy doesn’t love it… but you do!

Daddy time.

Evelyn Faye (4)

Daddy is very territorial of you.  When he is home, you are all his.  He has a hard time sharing you!  You are his pride and joy.  He never sets you down.  Most nights he holds you into the wee morning hours, just because he wants to bond with you as much as possible.

Evelyn Faye

Evelyn Faye (18)

Evelyn Faye (13)

He loves to hold you at eye level, and make you dance while listening to Weezer.  You are so alert while you have daddy dance lessons.  He also loves to squish faces with you.

Evelyn Faye (1)

Puppies.

Evelyn Faye

Evelyn Faye (17)

They still aren’t sure about you.  They like to sniff you.  Most of the time they ignore you.  At least they don’t hate you!  We put peanut butter on your feet and let Indy and Buster lick it off.  You seemed really confused by what was going on!  I’m convinced that one day they will finally accept you and cuddle you.

Fashion.

Evelyn Faye

This is your custom made onesie from Marlene.  She whipped this up for you during my baby shower.  Aren’t we grateful for the crafty people in ours lives?  🙂

Every day with you is a fashion show.  You are cutter than one million buttons.  You are much better dressed than your mother.

Evelyn Faye

You are in a phase right now where newborn clothes are too small for you, but 3 month clothes are too big.  You fit pretty well into generic 0-3 onesies, but those are boring.  So I’ve taken it upon myself to spice them up.  Here are a few I’ve made so far, but I’m working on a bunch more.

Evelyn Faye (5)

Tummy time.

1798896_253460654831488_1578911865_o

At first you HATED tummy time.  You would just scream until you fell asleep.

Evelyn Faye (14)Until we figured out tummy time on the Boppy.  And you’ve never loved anything more.  You’ll do tummy time for hours this way.  Your head, neck and back are getting so strong.  You’ll hold your neck up for quite awhile.  It is adorable.

Evelyn FayeAnd when you’re done with tummy time, we turn you around on the Boppy to lounge, and you are the happiest little camper.

Evelyn Faye (12)

Evelyn Faye

Going out. Evelyn Faye

We’ve just barely been brave enough to start taking you out.  Occasionally we take you when we go out to eat, and you sleep in your carseat with the cover on.  Recently we took you bowling with some friends, and you did SO WELL.  You didn’t fuss, and you loved being passed around.  When the cosmic lights came on, you were so alert.

Evelyn Faye

 

These 7 weeks have been a dream come true for us.  You are so much fun.  You change and grow every day.  I love being your mom.  You have brought so much joy to our family.

Love

I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.
Forrest Gump

Forrest wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, and neither am I. We’re all born with an innate understanding of what Love is. The difference is that Forrest didn’t lose that understanding over time. His mind wasn’t clouded with what the world wants you to think Love is.

The world portrays Love most frequently as lust. Lustful feelings can often be confused with Love in the moment. However there are a few key differences that I want to highlight here.

Love

  • Love is Selfless, lust is selfish
  • Love changes us for the better, lust entrenches us in our bad habbits
  • Love allows us to have a greater understanding of those we truly love, lust only clouds our thoughts and makes us judgemental
  • Love gives us courage, lust makes us cowards

I thought that I understood Love when I married my wife. I thought I understood it when I found out she was pregnant. I even thought I understood it when our sweet daughter was born.

It wasn’t until very recently that I came to understand this last thing about Love:

  • Love grows over time, lust diminishes every day

This is what Forrest understood that most of us don’t. His Love for Jenny grew consistently every single day because he allowed it to. He nurtured it’s growth. He understood that you get out of Love what you put into it. This is something that Jenny didn’t come to understand until she was near the end of her life.

My hope is that those close to me can come to understand and embrace this truth so that they may come to know the pure joy that comes along with it.

Happy Birthday Evelyn Faye

Monday, December 23, 2013

4:30 AM.  Aaron woke up because he was too antsy to keep sleeping.  He remembered that we were out of dog food for the puppies, so he ran to the store for their food and got himself some breakfast.

5:30 AM.  I woke up, more nervous than I’ve ever been in my entire life.  I cuddled Indy and Buster for awhile because I knew it was going to be a few days until they would see us again.

6:00 AM.  I called the hospital to see what time they wanted us there.  They said 7:00 AM.  So me and Aaron watched the Today Show for a little bit, then packed the bags into the Scion and were on our way to the Riverton Hospital. I was having really bad anxiety the whole way there.  I didn’t know what to expect.  I heard so many different things about being induced.  I didn’t know what it was going to feel like.  Everyone had been sharing their labor horror stories with me.  I was nervous for the pain.  I was nervous about how long it would take.  I was nervous of potential complications.  I was so shaky in the car.  It was such a cold and dark morning.  The sun still hadn’t come up.  Aaron was such an amazing support the whole way there.  He was great at keeping me calm and assuring me things would be okay, and before we knew it, we would have Evelyn in our arms.

7:00 AM.  We checked into Labor and Delivery.  They showed us to our room and had me change.  It was right during a shift change, so it took a few minutes to get things going.

Last ever bump picture!

Evelyn Faye

 

8:00 AM.  I had the sweetest nurse.  She was an older lady named Gale.  She was the wife of a Lutheran pastor.  She told me all about her grandkids, and how she still had so much Christmas shopping to do.  She got me hooked up to the Pitocin.  I had heard that once you’ve got the Pitocin going, contractions happen fast.

9:00 AM.  Nothing was really happening.  A few light contractions, but nothing measurable.  They had turned up the Pit a few times, but I hadn’t dilated more than I was when I got to the hospital (a 4).

10:00 AM.  Still nothing.  Dr. Anders came in to break my water.  I was also very nervous about this.  It didn’t hurt at all for me.  She broke it, and it was messy.  After that, things started moving.  I started having actual contractions.  Aaron was so good at holding my hand.  I would close my eyes really tight and he would talk me through it.  It wasn’t the most unbearable pain.  I thought it was manageable. My nurse Gale kept telling me I could get my epidural any time.  I kept saying I was okay.  I wanted to wait until I really WANTED the epidural.  I could still manage the pain just fine.  Finally Gale came back and told me there were 4 other women in labor who would probably be wanting their epidurals soon, so if I wanted one, I should get it now, because if I waited, it could be awhile.  So I said, let’s do this!  But I was nervous.  Really nervous.  I’m the world’s largest baby when it comes to needles.  So I was having anxiety about it.  I wasn’t worried about getting paralyzed.  I was just worried about it hurting.

11:00 AM.  The anesthesiologist came in.  I was really scared.  They had me sit on the edge of the bed and hunch my back.  Gale was holding my head, and Aaron was holding my hand.  When they curled my back, so much amniotic fluid came gushing out.  It was so uncomfortable.  The anesthesiologist was poking my back with his hands to find the right place, and it tickled, so I kept moving.  But they kept trying to get me to hold as still as possible.  It seemed impossible.  I whispered to myself “if I can get my pilot’s license, I can do this…”  And the anesthesiologist said “Hey!  I’m a pilot too!”  And we started talking about airplanes and airports, and flying stories, and before I knew it, it was all done.  It felt like a bee sting, and that was it.  Honestly, the getting the IV was worse.

Around 12:00 PM.  Both sets of parents showed up to hang out and visit while we waited.  Since I wasn’t feeling anything, I was able to doze in and out of naps.  We were watching a TV show on TLC about Lottery Winners, and what they ended up doing with their money. Gale was able to get off early to do her Christmas shopping, so she said goodbye, and I met my new nurse Jenny.  Things were progressing normally throughout the afternoon.

Around 3:00 PM.  I could start feeling contractions again.  They were very painful.  They gave me more epidural medicine, which helped.  But I could feel the pressure of contractions.

4:00 PM.  I started to stagnate at a 6.  I hadn’t dilated past it.  Dr. Anders was worried, and didn’t want to let me sit too long in labor.  She didn’t want the baby to go into distress.  She said they would check again in an hour, and if I hadn’t dilated more that she wanted to do a c-section.  I was so nervous.  I absolutely didn’t want a c-section.  Aaron’s dad, Bob, and Aaron gave me a Priesthood blessing.  (Bob had given me a blessing once before.  I had a bleeding ulcer that needed to be cauterized.  Before they put me under, he gave me the blessing.  When they went to do the procedure, they couldn’t find the bleeding ulcer.  It had completely disappeared.)  After the blessing, I decided to try and take a nap to relax as much as possible before they checked my cervix again.

5:00 PM.  The nurse came back to check me.  She said “You’re at a 10, you’re ready to start pushing!”  Aaron and I looked at each other with nervous/excited faces, and kicked our parents out.  Aaron took this picture of himself right before we started.

Evelyn Faye

I didn’t know what pushing would be like.  On the 2nd push Aaron said “Kenz, I can see the top of her head!  She has hair!”  This was so much motivation to me that I pushed as hard as I thought I could.  I was determined for it not to take over an hour.  Aaron was supporting me so great and cheering me on.  The nurse was so impressed.  After 15 mins of pushing, Evelyn was crowning, so the nurse went to track down Dr. Anders.  It took the nurse about 15 minutes to find her.  Dr. Anders wasn’t expecting us to be ready that soon.  When Dr. Anders came in the room and got all her supplies ready, Evelyn came out with 2 more big pushes.

This picture might gross you out, but it was the most beautiful moment of my life.

Evelyn Faye

5:58 PM.  It was the most amazing feeling when she came out.  The put her immediately on my chest, and it was the most beautiful moment of my entire life.  There was such a thin line between Heaven and Earth.  I had just brought a life into this world.  This beautiful creation was half me and half Aaron, made from our love, and here she was.  Living and breathing.  I held onto her so tight and the tears streamed down my face.  Evelyn.  My precious miracle baby.  The baby I thought I could never have.  Aaron cut the cord, and they took her to be weighed and cleaned.  I had never known such joy.

Evelyn Faye Crowder.  December 23, 2013.  7 lbs 5 oz. 19.5″ long.

Evelyn Faye

 

Evelyn Faye

 

Evelyn Faye

Our parents came in to meet their new granddaughter.  It was so fun to see their faces light up as they held this sweet sweet fresh baby.

Evelyn Faye

 

Having a baby over Christmas is magical.  The hospital takes extra good care of you and goes out of their way to make things special.  They gave us a stocking to put Evelyn in.  They also gave us a special Christmas beanie for her.

Evelyn Faye

 

Evelyn Faye

 

Evelyn Faye

 

Evelyn Faye

 

Evelyn Faye

 

Evelyn Faye

 

Evelyn Faye

 

Evelyn Faye

 

Evelyn Faye

 

Evelyn Faye

 

Welcome to the world Baby Girl.

Impatiently Waiting

Dearest Evelyn,

Your Mom is scheduled to be induced on the 23rd of December and we’re just counting down the time until then. We had hoped that you would come sooner since we don’t want your birthday to be so close to Christmas. I guess you’re just too comfortable! Hopefully labor won’t last too long, or else you’ll be born on Christmas Eve.

We are so excited to meet you. We have been preparing and trying to get everything all ready and nice. The nursery is put together, the pack-n-play is ready, and we are just hanging out. How boring!

The biggest thing we’ve learned though, through all of this, has been to have faith in the Lords plan and in His timing. Your Mom and I are very much “go-getters”. We like to set goals and make plans. We like to get things done. Everything about this pregnancy has been so out of our control. We had to patiently wait to even GET pregnant with you. And now that we are so ready to just bring you into this life and to hold you in our arms we are once again reminded that we must be patient. We must wait on the Lord’s timing and plan.

That is probably some of the best advice I could give to you. Patiently wait upon the Lord. Not to say that you shouldn’t do things, but have the wisdom to know when things are out of your control.

We already love you SO much Evelyn. I can’t wait to meet you! Get here soon!

Love,

Dad

The Longest Christmas Season

Dear Evelyn,

It’s Christmas time.  The whole world is abuzz with shopping, gift giving, baking cookies, ugly sweater parties, family parties, work parties, spending money, making sure the perfect decorations are in place- inside and out.  Busy, busy, busy.

Christmas time has been a little different for me this year.  It started back in April, when we knew you were coming, and due to arrive on Christmas.  Instead of my world revolving around Christmas preparations, it began to revolve around you.  It began to revolve more around Daddy.  And I realized that this was the season to celebrate the creation of our family.

And the more I thought about it, the more I connected to mother Mary.  Not that I put myself in the same regard as her.  But we had the same pregnancy timeline.  And “Christmas” for her wasn’t an over-commercialized event to count down to.  It was a time to bring the Savior of the World to this Earth to save us all.  My pregnancy with you has not been easy in the slightest.  And neither was Mary’s.  How can I even compare the two??  She had to give birth in a pile of straw, in a stable, with no medicine.  Mine has been a walk in the park comparably.

This year everyone has seemed to give me a “pass card” with doing neighbor gifts, and other festivities.  Everyone says “don’t worry!  Just rest.  You just get this baby here.”  But I’m afraid this feeling of extra joy I’ve felt this year will melt away in the future of other Christmases.  It’s my hope that each year, YOU my precious daughter, will remind us to celebrate the real meaning of Christmas: Jesus Christ, and the love of our family.

I love you, miracle baby.

Christmas mama